Through words left unsaid to her late mother, director Samaher Alqadi’s next journey is unknown.
That is, until filming collides with a massive outpouring of enraged women filling the streets in response to an escalation of sexual assaults that take place in Tahrir Square on the second anniversary of the revolution. Alqadi utilizes her camera as a form of protection and begins documenting the growing women’s rebellion, not knowing where the story will lead her. When Alqadi becomes pregnant
during filming, she begins to re-examine the societal constructs of her own childhood in Palestine and what it means to be a woman and a mother in the Middle East. As I Want is a crucial, hard-hitting political commentary and an inward journey in which individual emancipation is linked to the collective process of liberation in the Arab world.

JOIN THE CONVERSATION: Q&A
Watch a pre-recorded Q&A with the director of As I Want, Samaher Alqadi and the director of
We Have Not Come Here to Die, Deepa Dhanraj. Conversation moderated by filmmaker and film
programmer Aisha Jamal and available at the same link as the film.

Keywords: Assault | Motherhood | Protest | Revolution | Violence Against Women

We’re thrilled to be presenting a special 25th-ish anniversary screening of the seminal film Safe by
Todd Haynes which was presented at the third Rendezvous With Madness in 1995. This retrospective
could not be more timely given the current coronavirus pandemic we’ve all been living through since
spring 2020; nor can the serendipitous timing of Halloween; this is a quintessential horror film as seen
through the character of Carol White (played magnificently by Julianne Moore).

Set in 1987, the film follows White, a well-to-do California housewife who suddenly finds herself struggling to breathe while doctors continually insist that nothing is amiss with her health. Before long, Carol self diagnoses herself to be reacting to the toxic chemicals around her stating emphatically that she’s “allergic to the 20th century.” When Safe was originally released many viewers viewed Carol’s
plight as a metaphor for the HIV/AIDS epidemic; in 2021 it’s both that pandemic and the current one
that will leave their marks on you long after the film’s credits roll.

SCREENING WITH FORM 1
Jubal Brown | 2021 | Canada | English | 13 min
Commissioned by the non-profit organization Asylum From Psychiatry and Marta McKenzie, this
film is largely based on patient experiences in the mental health care systems in Canada. Found
footage sourced from movies and television are used to create an abstract narrative illustrating the
traumas experienced by patients in psychiatric institutions.

Keywords: Chemical Sensitivity | Environmental Illness| Family | Trauma | Virus

“I wanted to bring up the behaviour that we
all exhibit around illness, particularly in the
way we try to attach meaning and personal responsibility to illness and how much illness
and identity are mixed up with each other,
… Safe feels like this allegory about all kinds
of indeterminate and imprecise notions of
health, well-being and immunity in peril.”
—Todd Haynes